So, the last post was a brief rant. Very brief - for me, anyway. Funny, all the people I want to scream it at won't bother reading it. T'was ever thus. Funny thing is, during my whole relearning how to be human phase, I keep getting reminded of why I liked being Penndel's ghost. Reduced interaction made for a mostly peaceful existence, and at least the invasion of my mental space would justify the bile I spewed.
That's really a misconception, I guess. The only thing stupider than someone thinking that they don't need the world is someone who thinks the world can't get by without them. Hard lesson to learn, that is. And even with all of the interaction (via e-mail, a few phone calls, even a few in person) I can feel the desire (but not the need - so that's progress) to slink back to my little black hole and go back to just observing and ignoring as the mood strikes me.
I've stuck with it, though. Even showed up at a BBQ for two friends I normally don't see outside of flea markets. I guess it's grown on me, although it has shown me that some of the problems I was dealing with are a bit more complex than I had first imagined - either by talking with those who had dealt with similar issues or just getting a fresh perspective. At some point I hope to beable to have these conversations without a long, alcohol laden preamble, but hey, one step at a time.
A lot going on, but all of it is mental. I'm going to try to get some writing done now, before it all gets the better of me.
That's really a misconception, I guess. The only thing stupider than someone thinking that they don't need the world is someone who thinks the world can't get by without them. Hard lesson to learn, that is. And even with all of the interaction (via e-mail, a few phone calls, even a few in person) I can feel the desire (but not the need - so that's progress) to slink back to my little black hole and go back to just observing and ignoring as the mood strikes me.
I've stuck with it, though. Even showed up at a BBQ for two friends I normally don't see outside of flea markets. I guess it's grown on me, although it has shown me that some of the problems I was dealing with are a bit more complex than I had first imagined - either by talking with those who had dealt with similar issues or just getting a fresh perspective. At some point I hope to beable to have these conversations without a long, alcohol laden preamble, but hey, one step at a time.
A lot going on, but all of it is mental. I'm going to try to get some writing done now, before it all gets the better of me.
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